Day 105 - Blood Pressure Again

Need to put this down so I can remember how many trips my husband will have made to medical for his Blood pressure. I believe this is now trip 2 since in Afghanistan and trip 5 since being activated in April.  Do they not see the pattern? 

Hubby has had a headache and neck pain for last few days. He also travelled this week by helicopter for a couple days as well. He broke down and went to doctor to be checked out.  They determined he possibly has arthritis developing in his neck causing the pain and headache, which then elevates his blood pressure. They gave him a cortisone shot and sent him on his way. He was ordered to rest & relax for a few days. So no work and lots of boredom on his agenda. He is supposed to go back for a blood pressure recheck tomorrow. But I have learned that those mean nothing. As long as they have a body and it is breathing they don't care about the welfare and health of the soldiers. I am not surprised by the arthritis determination... he is 6'5" after all and spends most days crouching through doorways.

On the bright side its Friday!

Day 100 - My self proclaimed first milestone

350 days.... How am I going to do 350 days away from my husband? While he is in a foreign country where danger is always there. I still dont know the answer to that question. It is NOT easy. That I do know for sure.
Well I have made it 100 days. I suppose it is an accomplishment. It doesn't quite feel like one. Now my countdown is til he comes home on leave. I try really hard not to think about the 6 more months after he leaves.

It isnt any easier at day 100 than it was on day 1... Every day is a challenge. At the moment it is lack of internet. I look forward to the few minutes I get on the phone with my husband. Since he moved rooms he has no internet so we must be at the mercy of the phone center at the camp. The phones that have a 6 second delay... so frustrating.

And then to learn that others from his training class in Lousiana are being sent home permanently in December. How did those few get so lucky? Why can't they all be sent home? Especially the ones they really have no purpose for. As my husband is now maybeon  his 3rd or 4th job since he arrived. Not one of them being what he was sent there for. 

So I suppose that since I made it to day 100 I will make it to 200 and 300.

Day 97 Kennels

I was really trying to wait until Day 100 to post about how I never thought I would make it to Day 100; however, this morning I just needed to write. Days are passing by. No they NEVER get easier. You just take one day at a time. Is morning harder than evening? It depends on the day. Every part of the day is hard. Don't let anyone tell you it ever gets easier during deployment. We are taking it day by day and then WHAM... I get a call from the hubby that they have decided he needs to move rooms. Okay... first of all I can't even consider what he is staying in as a room. It is plywood with a door. They have no floor to ceiling walls either. So when we do talk I can hear other peoples televisions and radios, etc. We had just got his internet to work in his room. Internet that by the way he is splitting with another person because the service providers in the country are charging an arm and a leg. If I recall correctly it is $170.00 a month!!! So 1/2 of that is costing us $85.00 a month!! Anyways, back to room moving. Apparently the room is 1/2 the size of the room he had before, which wasn't much. Room for a locker and a bed... so for a 6'5" man he is basically living in a sardine can. I really believe that my dog gets better treatment at the kennel when we board her.  My husband is a reservist. He was activated by a computer who picked his name. He is 43 years old... Yes I know this is what they sign up for, but seriously, I really think that for risking their lives they could be treated a little better. And yes, before I married a military man, I used to wonder what they were complaining about... Free healthcare, commissary, etc. Those benefits are nothing when your loved one is being treated like a piece of trash.  Fighting for a country that doesnt even appreciate us being there.

I've tried really hard to stay positive during this deployment. I knew what I was getting myself into... well sort of. I knew about the being 1/2 a world away from each other for a year. But I had no idea how horribly our men and women are treated overseas. I am thankful this is the 1st and only deployment we will have.  I honestly dont know how women w/children or women w/out children do multiple deployments. We are strong women. And though for the most part I may appear strong... I am crumbling on the inside. Counting down days keeps me sane. It gets me through each day. I have to hold onto the day he comes home. I have to look forward to our being together in 253 days. However, I know that number isnt correct either. Not knowing what day he will be home really sucks! 

So now I sit and wait for the next call... and wonder when it will be.

88 days... And getting closer to R & R

Life has been pretty normal and routine lately. Hubby is at the "rock" and the weather is finally cooling down. They had their first day of rain yesterday. We are getting close to 100 days down and we tentatively have leave dates for December. So looking forward to 15 days in a row with my husband before he has to return. I'm just staying busy. This last weekend was my sister's Bachelorette Party in northern California and next month is her wedding. The days dont get any easier but each day is a day closer to him being back home for good.

Day 66 War

Well, last Wednesday was the scariest day of all.. 60 days into deployment and the Taliban attacks the capital headquarters, the US Embassy and the airport. Of all the weeks for my husband to be in the capital and at the headquarters. He was in a management class when the bombings began. He was escorted to the Gym across from the classrooms. He was there for a little while until he moved to the D-Fac for the remainder of the lockdown. The attacks began at 1:30 pm Afghan time (2:00 am my time) and continued for about 21 hours. All was calm by Wed night my time @ 10:30 pm and 10:00 am Afghan time. I finally received a call from hubby @ 11:45 pm my time. That was the longest Wednesday of my life. I have to thank social media because if it weren't for Facebook and Twitter updates by the journalists, I dont know how I would have managed my anxiety. All went back to normal in the big city and he went on to participate in the Chief Pinning Ceremonies on Friday afternoon. Saturday was his planned flight back to the little country; however, his flight was cancelled until Monday Afternoon. He was fortunate enough to be able to stay in the military quarters @ the airport.  So it is now Monday morning my time... Day 66 and hubby has made it safely back to the Rock.  Back safe and sound in his room that he wired with internet. Yay! Tango calls can resume. Until December when he gets to take 15 day leave. Seems so far away....

Day 60 Nausea

I did hear from hubby yesterday around 11:15 am. He had arrived safely and was escorted to his very own private room w/bathroom, laptop, and telephone. The downside is having to walk to the camp 15 minutes away in order to perform his duties this week.  He was so beyond ecstatic to have his own room w/linens and air conditioning. I had a smile on my face the rest of the day.

And now... nausea... I have not heard from my husband in over 24 hours. Panic, Worry, Nausea!  Is he okay? Is it just a blackout?  Questions racing through my mind. So difficult to concentrate at work. It is the middle of the night there so I presume he is a sleep and I will not hear anything now for hours. God, I hate this! I give it to you God. Please make my mind stop racing and my anxiety disappear.

Day 59 Traveling

We are 59 days into this deployment and it doesnt seem to get any easier. Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of September 11th. The reason my husband is now half a world away from me. I never imagined that I would marry a military man nor would I imagine how 9/11 would touch my life yesterday. I felt so many emotions: anger, sadness, depression, hope, pride. It was a heavy day. I am so glad that I went to church though. God makes everything better. While I cried as I worshipped, I knew that this was just a season in my life and next year at this time my husband and I will be together. But I still get angry that we are sending our men and women to a war that will never end. While I am thankful that my husband is in hopefully the safest part of the country, I am still upset that he is even over there. His duties in my eyes have absolutely nothing to do with ending the war on terror. And he is traveling today to the other side of the country. My anxiety is so high. It makes me so nervous when he is in the air over there and then the drive from the airport to the base. It is so difficult to concentrate when my mind is on him and his safety. And then we he travels back on Saturday I will be a nervous wreck also. All for what?!  So the country has a new computer system!  Jeopardizing our families lives for a country that will not change and does not want us there. At the same time I am so proud of my husband for doing his duty. Doing what he signed up for. Never complaining. Going with the flow. He loves the Navy. He loves being a chief. And that is one of the reasons why I love him. He is so honorable and has the best work ethic. I know he does all he can to secure his safety to make sure I dont worry. But I worry. I always will. Until he comes home.